An unplanned life
by Sammalkorva
Summary: I suck with summaries. So you just have to read it. Sorry.
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

It was the darkest moment of her life. Standing near the grave where her loved one was laid for eternal rest, her eyes shone with unshed tears that threatened to fall but she wouldn't let them. She couldn't let them. This was it; this was her lover's forever. She won't see her lovely face in the mornings anymore, the good morning smiles that made her days endurable. She won't hear her beautiful voice and the answering machine won't always be enough. There won't be any "I love yous" or "I miss yous," any cooing of love words during their endless nights where their bodies were one. She couldn't tell her she loved her, she couldn't feel her warmth. There was nothing, she felt nothing.**  
><strong>She was gone… Just moments ago they were talking about children and marriage, about spending their life together. She had never known love before her. She'd shown her what love was about, awakened emotions and feeling she'd never dreamt of feeling. Her heart was shattered, breathing made it hurt even more. Her breathing became staggered, she was angry, she was alone. She'd left her, she'd promised her forever and yet she'd left her. **  
><strong>  
>Screaming didn't help, after all, it wasn't her fault. Blaming her was easier for a while but the truth eventually sunk. She'd cry at night, holding herself in a fetal position, trying to keep her body from shaking. She needed to be held and loved. She needed to cry and grieve. She needed her back.<strong><br>**Weeks went by. One by one and yet she remembered nothing. The sun shone mercilessly on her but the light didn't seem to reach her. The moon kept her company at night, reminding her that a new day would come. Minutes and hours flew; days became blurred until she couldn't take it. Taking her wallet and passport, she left their apartment without looking back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 1**

_5 years later_  
>Andrea Sachs walked through the doors of Elias-Clarke, feeling her confidence slowly leave her body as she walked by the thin and beautiful women. An equally thin redhead walked towards Andy, eyeing her suspiciously. For the first time in her life, Andy cursed herself for her disinterest in fashion. This was the opportunity of a lifetime, to work for New York's, if not the world's, biggest fashion maven. Miranda Priestly.<br>"You've got to be kidding me," she muttered under her breath.  
>"Emily Charlton?" Andy asked timidly.<br>"Bloody hell, follow me."  
>The redhead all but throttled away, leaving Andy to speed up. Honestly, what the hell was she doing here? She didn't fit in, did these women even eat? She needed a change and this felt surprisingly good. After running away from her own life, Andy felt something inside her stir positively. Traveling had been enough, but she needed to settle. Her heart was tired, her mind needed peace.<br>Once Andy realized where she was, Emily looked panicked. She was shoved behind a desk, watching over as women and men both hovering for cover. Before she could even blink, Andy's eyes found her. Azure eyes focused ahead of her, satin-like white hair perfectly coiffed seemed to glow by itself. The woman walked past her, never once looking her over. Suddenly, Emily pushed her forward, yanking her briefcase from her hand. The woman was pure business; the words that were meant to cut Andy flew past her. They buzzed and buzzed but never registered. Then she felt something she hasn't felt in five years, she panicked. Her eyes shone with tears as rejection sank in.  
><em>No no no<em>, her head screamed as the cold city air punched her. Emily's voice echoed from afar, causing Andy to turn. The woman rolled her eyes, calling her back. She smiled, breathing in deeply.

The sky was beginning to darken. Andy hailed a cab, watching as the lights danced across the pedestrian's faces. She'd never noticed how beautiful New York really was, despite the traffic and loitering. The lights became alive, telling stories as the sun hid behind sky scrapers and the traffic lights gave their orders. The cab stopped by a small flower shop, the sweet smell of roses was almost intoxicating. With a handful of red roses, she walked towards the one place she had no desire to go.  
>The green grass was soft beneath her feet, making a path to the cold stone where her angel laid. <em>Amalia Jhonson. Beloved daughter and sister. Born July 5, 1980. In Heaven July 5, 2003. <em>Andy's heart fell; there was no mention of a lover. Hurting, Andy swallowed against the lump on her throat. Despite Andy's love for Amalia, her mother made no effort to accept it and although Amalia denied it, Andy knew it hurt her lover. It hurt her to know that her lover wasn't accepted. Amanda Jhonson made sure to let them know how inhuman it was, how wrong and how much of a sin it was. Yet Andy couldn't hate her, even when Amanda chose to accept an abusive relationship as love, and not a loving relationship between two women.  
>Amanda blamed Andy for her daughter's death. It wasn't enough that Andy blamed herself. It was her fault that she wanted to walk back home on Amalia's birthday. She'd given Amalia everything she had, her heart and her soul, and she'd do it again. She stood above the grave, running her hand over the heart she'd given Amalia. Beside her own hear, the pendant lay cold against her warm hand, falling over her shirt's collar.<br>"I came back, my Love." She whispered. "I love you."  
>With pain stabbing her heart, she turned away, letting the tears fall freely.<p>

Work proved to be harder than she'd expected. Andy had a hard time getting settled, getting things right. That wasn't the Andy she knew. She was late for everything, Miranda's coffee was too cold, she didn't know what skirts Miranda wanted. Who the hell was Dolce? Cabbana who? Her mind spiraled around like a carrousel full of screaming children, only this time she was the sole child, screaming to get off the ride. Somewhere throughout the day she remembered Doug's words, she needed to get her shit together and move on. _Easier said than done_, she thought. She loved her friend, but she knew she couldn't stay with him forever. She needed her own space.  
>After long hours at Runway, she could sleep without nightmares...she was too tired not to. The absence of further darkness during the night was something she enjoyed, despite the constant worries or Miranda's voice ringing in her ears even in her sleep. Thanks to the job, she'd been sleeping. A dead sleep, but sleeping nonetheless. But some weekends after a nightmare she drank her mind into numbness with Lily and Doug. They were really party animals and they had been hers and Amalia's best friends. They forgave her when she left but her mother was still angry with her leaving like that. Worried to death that she'll be found some dirty cold ditch. Her dad had been quiet, but eventually he told her he loved her and missed her. Daddy had been there when Amalia died. He was the only one who took her in his arms and told how sorry he was that he couldn't take his baby girl's pain away.<p>

*****  
>That stupid hurricane! Why did it have to happen now when she was having dinner with dad. Who she missed alot. Mom didn't want to see her, but daddy assured her that mom just needed some time. Andy didn't see her dad's little smile when she tried to contact coast guard about getting Miranda out from Miami.<p>

Her dad, Richard saw the same fire in his daughters eyes when she tried to get a perfect date with Amalia. He knew Miranda was older and a boss from hell, but he was ready to thank Miranda putting that long lost fire in his darling baby.  
>*****<p>

She never thought that she could get hurt by Miranda. 'Smart, fat, girl.' Those words rang in her head when she went to see Nigel. She didn't let her tears fall, but Nigel knew what happened. He wasn't going to play nice. Not at all! If he gets one 'i own you' just by trying to be hard to get. He'll take it! And he did.. Only doing something for the girl that he wanted to do all along. Andrea had beautiful body that he could use on those outfits what hermajesty's models can't. Well they can but they looked like a little schoolgirls trying to be adult. Andy had a body with curves. He just loved it. Of course he didn't say it out loud. He had to keep the girl on her toes.. If she loses a few pounds.. She only looked better. With all those curves.

'Nigel, are you sure about this.. This schoolgirl look?' Andy was little insecure about her new look. She didn't see Nigel's excitement in his eyes. If he wasn't gay. He would try to bed the young thing. He had his doubts about Andy's sexuality. She never talked about her personal life and sometimes he saw sadness in her,but didn't question it.  
>'I am, my darling Six.' He gave her sweet smile of his. Dorky duck just grew to be a swan.<p>

He was like a proud father.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 2**

It was almost their anniversary when she was hit by a thick book of faces. She thought she could take a bottle of Amalia's favourite wine, light a candle for her and make their favourite dessert. Enjoy it alone in her new apartment.. After one sleepless night she had organized all of her earthly possessions. Of course Lily and Doug had replaced everything after that. She didn't mind.. She loved to see that pair in action. They read others minds and knew what Andy liked. She used to know what they thought but not anymore. She missed that.. She missed the connection. It made her sad, but she was lucky to have them back and now she had time to get that connection back.

Now she was studying face's. Only because Emily had a flu and Miranda didn't want her near. Nigel brought her dress and gave instructions for Serena about her makeup and hair like she wasn't there.

She was ready to go. Names with faces ran through her head when she met Emily under the stairs. They were waiting Miranda who was fashionably late. Silence took over and everybody looked up. Miranda was here. Andy gasped for air when she saw her. Her heart rate sped up and she felt hot all over. 'Beautiful' she thought. Instantly she wanted to slap herself for thinking like that. Emily though said it out loud. That made Andy feel better. Everyone was stunned by her boss' beauty, not only her. It must be normal then.

They were following Miranda like a loyal puppies, when suddenly there was a couple coming their way. Emily was sputtering and telling them she knew them, but couldn't get their names out. Andy leaned over Miranda's personal space. The older woman's intoxicating scent carried out to Andy's senses. She almost moaned her answer to the woman. She saw Miranda's neck fill with a faint blush and sweet little goose bumps. 'What was that about? ' she thought for a second.  
>Suddenly she saw Stephen drunk like a pig! He was making idiotic comments about Irv. She saw panic in Miranda's eyes and with quick decision she took Irv's arm and started to ask questions about Irv's latest triumph. Taking him away from Stephen. She didn't hear what Irv was saying and she cared little. Miranda was safe for now. That mattered. She got scared of her thoughts of Miranda. What was happening to her?<p>

Luckily she met a man, Christian. He was generally interested her and he was charming. Maybe a little cheesy, but it was a good change for her. She didn't have to think about Miranda or Amalia. They had a good talk about Andy's future. Apparently Christian was writer who wanted to see Andy's work. She had written some stories about her travels but mostly they were about her feelings and how much she wanted Amalia to see things with her.

She knew in her heart that Amalia knew and saw things with her. Sometimes she felt her presence when she was standing alone. She could feel her touch on her face or on her arm. It didn't matter where. It was enough to just know she was there.

'Guard this key with your life,' Emily told her.  
>Andy knew it was just a key and didn't look any different than the others. It only mattered what that key opened. She realised suddenly how eager she was to do exactly what Emily had told her. Panic was knocking at her door but she didn't open it. Only after she got home was she ready for that.<br>Emily had told her what to do. She was repeating them when she got in. When she was about to leave the book two redheads were looking at her. She heard Stephen's voice and knew that tone. They were fighting. Andy didn't hear what Miranda said, but soon she was getting up those stairs.  
>The twins thought it was because of them.<br>No.  
>Andy wanted to stop their fight for the girls sake. If it meant she had no longer a job. So be it. A few times at Amalia's she had heard fighting over loud music and smacking when that man hit Amanda.<br>The fight was over when they saw her. Miranda looked lost for a moment, then those icy blue eyes made Andy regret that she ever took those steps. She got out fast as possible. 'Shitshitshit.'  
>*****<p>

The next day Emily was pissed off at her. She was pissed too and scared. She didn't want to get fired, but she didn't see any other option. Miranda walked by with out breaking her stride, throwing her coat and bag at Andy.

Seconds later she was standing in Miranda's office. She was about to say how sorry she was, but Miranda cut her off before she could even start.  
>'The twins have already read Harry Potter and they want know what happens next?'<br>'Okay. I'll just go get them the latest..' she was cut off again.  
>'Don't be ridiculous. They have read them all. They want the newest.'<br>'You- You mean the unpublished one?'  
>'Yes Andrea.'<br>She heard something about steak. How is she going to get that manuscript! She was running all over the town when she called Doug telling him that she'll quit. What about Cristian? asked Doug and then her plan fell together. She just needed to get that man to do a favour for her. Andy put her charm to work. It was too easy but she was thankful. She didn't know how to repay the man but she would figure out something. 

Andy felt like a winner. She was a winner and Miranda knew it. The older woman's face was full of wonder when she looked at her. She was turning away but then realized Andy had gotten her coffee. And that look took Andy to some new level that she didn't recognize. Her heart rate was like a hummingbird. Her throat was dry and face was red like a fire alarm. She backed away before she made a fool of herself.

"_Take off your clothes., Miranda's cool voice told her. She was in shock but obeyed. Her face was burning but she held still under Miranda's gaze._  
><em><br>She felt the other woman's eyes on her, looking at every curve on her body. Stopping at her breasts, Miranda's hungry eyes took all in before she stepped closer. Andy couldn't look at her but when she felt older woman's hand on her cheek she had to know what Miranda was thinking. She saw warmth, lust, and care. Andy looked at Miranda's perfect pink lips, wanting to kiss her and press that body against herself. Instead, Miranda did that for her. Those lips were so close and kept getting closer. Just before she felt them against hers she whispered: "I love you."_  
>Andy woke startled. "OH. MY. GOD!"<p>

She had fallen in love with her beautiful boss.

Her thighs felt sticky and hot. She saw herself from full length mirror that usually served for criticizing her outfits. Andy felt her blush deepening when she saw her rosy pink cheeks and dark lustful eyes. She felt instantly guilty. She felt like she was cheating on Amalia. It was stupid to think like that and she knew that Amalia wanted her to start living again. It was just so hard, and why did she have to fall in love with Miranda? Oh, God! She fell back to her bed and started to cry her heart out.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 3**

After that night she had the same dream almost every night. It was haunting her and Miranda didn't help her at all. She could tell when she felt the older woman's eyes on her. One evening they were working late on photos that were a catastrophe according to Nigel. If he thought it so. Miranda would too. Andy got the book later than normally. She saw the woman at her desk watching those photos with a critical eye..  
>'Miranda?'<br>'Yes.'  
>'The book is here.'<br>'Oh, good. Bring it to me.' Miranda rose up and looked atAndrea's behind.  
><em>She is a special, beautiful woman. I would give her everything if she would even see me more than her boss and she has grown up so much.<em> she thought. But why would she? She was an old fool with twins. She was married to an asshole, but not for long if the signs were right. But still.. What could she give to the young woman who had a future. Miranda felt her own future had been over for a while.. Pretty much since she turned 39 and had her twins. Now she just made their future possible giving them everything. Andrea wasn't like that. She didn't want anything from her..Except a reference.. What she was willingly giving her. The thought of not having the brunette by her side made her feel ill. She didn't have any other options than to just let her go.. She already knew she could never forget her.. Her heart would never let her.

She took the book from Andrea and felt the woman's touch. Her whole body was roaring on fire and only Andrea could settle her down.. She was surprised to see the same fire in the brunette's eyes and she saw the lust in them too. Before she even knew it she had moved closer to Andrea. She was about to kiss those kissable lips when she was stopped by the woman.  
>'Miranda, please.. Don't.'<br>'Miranda felt Andrea's hand on her chest. So warm, so gentle.  
>'You are right. This is bad idea. I'm sorry.' Miranda tried to step away but Andrea held her close.<br>'It's not you. It is me.' It sounded cliché but when she saw Andrea's honest face she had to believe her. She saw the younger woman's pain and hurt.  
>'What happened to you, darling?'<br>'A lot.' Andy whispered.  
>They heard the elevator to their floor stop and Andy took a step back and lowered her eyes.<br>'We'll talk about this later,' Miranda said to Andrea's back. She saw Nigel entering to her office.

Andy was lost. She didn't know what to do so she started to cry on her way home. She was angry with herself. She wanted to kiss Miranda and almost let her feelings go. When she saw the love, hurt and lust in older woman's eyes she felt the need to explain. She just didn't know how. Andy had hard time to understanding her feelings. When she was away from New York she had morned Amalia and thought she gotten over it. Well obviously she never would but at least she thought she had the strenght to go on and start living her life. When she came back home.. It was all ripped open and her heart was in pain as her soul was burning like a hell's fire. She felt the need to go slow and see the chance with Miranda. Now, if she let go and let it flow.. She would be using the ice queen. She wanted to give her heart honestly to the woman. Not with the shadows that her mind was forming all over the world where she just looked.

*****  
>Miranda felt Andrea's pain, but she didn't know where it came from. It was deep with painful scars. She knew she had to be patient if she wanted Andrea in her life as a partner. Miranda was afraid her age and her actions would conflict their relationship. She was afraid that she would push till the woman cracked and that's why she tried so hard not to make mad decisions.. Everybody was on their toes when they were near Miranda. Frustration was set hard on her. They seemed to never have the time to talk. Miranda had to talk with Andrea. She couldn't take this any longer.<p>

'Andrea. Make reservations for two at that place I like, make sure it's private. Eight o'clock.'  
>Andy was jealous. Why was Miranda ordering her to book a romantic dinner for two? Was she just playing with her when she almost kissed her? Andy was fuming with fury for a while when she realised that she wasn't anything. She didn't have anything to offer Miranda. except her life. They weren't a couple or even friends. she didn't know what they were. Miranda was free to see anyone she wanted.. if you don't count Stephen. Maybe she tried to save her marriage? There were too many questions and not enough answers, so she let it be even as it ate away at her slowly. Andy did what was asked and she informed Miranda who just smiled at her.<br>'Thank you, Andrea. Wear something nice.' Miranda gave her a real smile.

What? She was Miranda's date? Panic was small compared to what she felt. More like a 'horrified screaming panic' mix. She would wake the dead if she let her fear free. Okay, Miranda wanted her to wear something nice. What about sex? Was she ready for that? After her 'small' panic attack she felt like smiling. She had a date with Miranda!


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 4**

Andy arrived at the restaurant early only because Miranda was always early. She was eager to see the older woman even though she why they were here. Miranda wanted to know.. for the first time in her life she felt like she was ready to tell someone an outsider about Amalia and she was happy it was Miranda.

Andy was waiting and waiting. An hour later she paid for her water and left. She was disappointed and felt like a fool. Andy knew Miranda was an important person but she didn't understand why she asked her to have a dinner with her if she couldn't come. Or even call if she didn't make it. It seemed to be important to the older woman to have this dinner but obviously it wasn't.. She felt a little used, but that she was. Just an ant working for the queen.

At home she just lay on her bed. She loved her red dress with deep v-neck and she wanted to see Miranda's reaction. Now she will never know. She took her dress off and hung it up so she could take it back tomorrow to Runway. She couldn't do anything to change how she felt and she had a feeling she will never know why Miranda never came. Miranda never explained her actions. At least not to her assistants.  
>Sleep claimed her fast.<p>

_Aaaannndyyyyyy...Aaaaannnnndyyyyyyy... A sweet voice of a woman called her from her sleep. 'God damn it! WAKE UP!' _  
><em>Andy jumped up form her bed. <em>  
><em>Amalia was standing next to her bed. 'Good, you're up!"<em>  
>'<em>Am-Amalia?' She was confused. <em>  
>"<em>Yes Darling. It's me."<em>  
>"<em>But... but you're dead." She tried to cover up her her naked body<em>  
>"<em>Oh.. please. I have seen you naked before. Besides this is your dream. Love...'" Amalia came closer. "We need to talk." She touch her face and Andy leaned on her touch closing her eyes. <em>  
>"<em>I missed you." She whispered to Amalia. <em>  
>"<em>I know.. I miss you too.. but you are making it hard."<em>  
><em>Andy's eyes snapped open. "What do you mean?"<em>  
>"<em>That BOSS of yours. Miranda."<em>  
>"<em>Wha..What about her?"<em>  
>"<em>You really thought I didn't know. You are mooning over her like a teenage girl! And then you want me to miss you!" Amalia slapped her.<em>

Andy woke up confused. She felt tingling on her cheek that was fading fast, but she still felt it. Amalia was angry with her because she wanted to love again.. Wanted to start her life. her heart was crying in pain and hurt. That Amalia who she knew would have never hit her or be jealous of someone or something if it made Andy happy.

The next day she didn't see Miranda all day. She called only Emily who was happy to make Andy do all the hard work. Getting dresses, going to Tiffany's, coffee. What ever she made up. She made Andy to do it. When she got her lunchtime she called Doug and Lily who met her at near by cafeteria. She told them about her dream leaving a few things out.. Like Miranda.  
>'Love, You know it was just a dream.' Lily took her hand.<br>'Wow.. You're dating.' Doug said. 'Is it someone at work?'  
>Lily hit her friend. "Shut it. She has a emotional problem and you want to know who!"<br>"Don't act like you don't want to know yourself!"  
>Andy stopped their bickering.<br>'Yes it is someone at work but I wont tell you before I even know myself what this is. I am afraid it is nothing. It ended before it even begin.' She leaned back on her chair and lay her eyes on her hands.  
>'Oh..I'm sorry darling." Lily told her with concern in her eyes.<br>'No don't. It's better this way.'  
>'Andy, It was just a dream. Maybe you saw it because you are scared to love someone.. You loved Amalia so much and you lost her. Now you are having those feelings for someone else.. don't deny it, but you are scared of losing someone you care for much."<br>Lily looked at Doug with surprise on her face. "You just made sense."  
>Andy thought about Doug's words.<br>'You are right," she said and she was afraid to lose someone she cared for, loved. She couldn't take it again. Silenty promising to herself to forget Miranda. Her heart loved Miranda, but she wasn't ready to lose her love again.

That evening when she was delivering the Book to Miranda, she was called to the woman's study. When she stepped in. The door was closed behind her and the lock was turned. She turned around and saw Miranda leaning against the door facing the floor. She put the Book on the woman's table.  
>'What else can I do for you?' She looked at Miranda who still found the floor very fascinating. Still no answer. "Whatever it is, I don't think you'll find it on that floor." That got Miranda's attention.<br>"Yes, no. I needed to tell you something."  
>"Okay."<br>Miranda finally looked at her. Her guard was down, which Andy found interesting. She was so beautiful that it took Andy's breath away.  
>Miranda sighed. 'I'm sorry.' Miranda took a seat on sofa and pointed for Andy to take a seat. 'I couldn't get away from home. The twins wanted to have a movie night and Stephen was home." She took Andy's hand. 'Can we try this again?'<p>

Miranda just said she was sorry. Andy had a hard time processing everything that Miranda was saying. She was still hanging onto the 'I'm sorry' part. Miranda never did that and now she was doing exactly that.  
>"Please, darling. Say something?"<br>Miranda's words were hanging in the air and Andy didn't know what to say first. She looked at the woman and remembered her promise to herself.  
>"Miranda, please. Let's not do this. I can't do this. We can't do this." She got up and started to walk at the door.<br>"Andrea."  
>"Please, don't. I just can't do this. Not again."<br>Andrea opened the door and left. Her heart wanted to go back but her mind told her not to. That it is better this way. Her heart was beating fast and it felt like bursting. Tears were running down her face messing up her makeup. She didn't care..  
>Cold wind hit her. Stinging her face, but it didn't matter. She wanted to go home and curl up in her bed. Sleep and forget this evening. <p>

'_Love, now I can miss you with my whole body.' Amalia's whisper woke her. She felt a naked body against her back. Traveling hands were all over her own naked body. It made her feel hot and wet. She turned and captured Amalia's lips. She moaned her name when she felt her lover's hand between her legs. 'You are so ready for me. I like that.' She entered Andy with two fingers, slowly bumping. 'You like this.'_  
>'<em>More..' She looked at her lover's blue eyes. <em>  
><em>Four fingers in her. She closed her eyes moaning. <em>  
>'<em>You are so beautiful.' A woman's voice told her and she open her eyes to only see Miranda. <em>  
>'<em>Oh God! I want you!' She groaned taking Miranda deeper in her. Kissing her hard. Suddenly she felt her orgasm building up. "Oh Miranda.. Please.. Please!" She felt the woman's thumb on her clit. It was all that it took to take her over. <em> 

Andy woke sweating. Her bed was wet from her sweat and cum. She felt good for a second and then she remembered her promise to herself. No Miranda, no heartache. But she felt it was too late for that. She was in love with Miranda for real. Not just in her dreams.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 5**

Andy put Miranda's coffee on the table and set the magazines on their place. She heard Miranda's heels clicking on the floor when she got to her desk and waited to take Miranda's coat and bag. She couldn't look Miranda in the eye when she took them.  
>Emily wasn't in yet when Miranda called Andy to her office.<br>"Yes, Miranda."  
>"Close the door and sit." Miranda waited till she sat. "I'm not going to say I'm sorry. Because I'm not. I am an married, old fool with twins. I was wrong to think that I would have a chance with someone half of my age. You are a young woman with future and I am not in your future. We wont talk about this again. That's all!" Miranda didn't look at her even once.<br>Andy's mouth was hanging open when she left from Miranda's office. Her life just turned out to be a nightmare. She wanted to talk to Miranda. To explain at least. Now that door was closed.

Miranda put her through hell. She worked her out like it was her duty to punish her for some reason. She hadn't done anything wrong. The only thing that she didn't want to do was break her heart. Was she selfish because of that? It was too much to cope with.  
>'Hey Six!' Nigel was cheerful. 'You and me out tonight!'<br>'Nige.. I don't feel like it.'  
>'Oh..yes you do. You look like hell. You need something fun!' Nigel sat on the corner of her desk.<br>Andy thought for a minute. 'Okay.. just for a little while.'

Before she knew it she had had too many drinks. Nigel was sitting on the sofa when she went to get the whiskey bottle.'Six, I was wondering. Just tell me if I should stop, but.. What's eating you up?'  
>Andy sat down and gave Nigel his drink.<br>'What do you mean?'  
>'you know.. Why do you have this sad look on your face sometimes? What keeps you at arms length from everyone? You had your chance with those guys but you didn't take it.' So, Nigel had seen her at the bar with those men.<br>'First of all. Men aren't my type. Secondly, i don't feel like dating anyone.'  
>Nigel shifted on his seat. 'So you are telling me you're gay?'<br>'Yeah, Nige. I'm gay.'  
>'Then why didn't you take that blonde's number?' The woman had been cute and beautiful.<br>'You saw that?' Nigel noded.'Well she wasn't my type.'  
>'Really Andy.. What's up?'<br>Andy took deep breath. 'Do you really want to know? This might take some time.'  
>'Yes, I want to know because you are my friend and I care about you. We have all night to talk.'<br>'Okay. You asked for this.' She put her glass away.

'I was in love once. Her name was Amalia. Our love was so deep you could drown in it. We had planned our future. Kids, marriage, home, everything you can possible imagine.'  
>'So you were in love. Did she break your heart?'<br>'Yes and no. It was her birthday. I had planned romantic outing together.' She took her pendant from under her blouse.'I gave this to her, my heart.' Nigel looked at it. A simple but beautiful jewel.  
>'I wanted to walk back home and so we did. There was a car coming our away. Someone rolled window down and yelled, "fucking dykes! Die! Die! Die!" And that man shot at us hitting only Amalia. She died in my arms telling me she loved me..' Nigel was silent and didn't know what to say.<br>'Her mother is still blaming me.. As much as I am blaming myself for her death. I know it wasn't me who shot her but it could have just been me. I wanted to walk home not her.' She felt tear on her cheek.  
>'Six.. I'm sorry. I didn't know.'<br>'Well, now you know.' 

Finally Nigel understood how Andy felt. There wasn't a thing to say to change this. She was living her hell by losing her loved one. 'I thought I had gotten over it when I came back here. Obviously I wasn't. Every feeling was raw again.. Fighting emotions to just get through the next hour. That's why I love working at runway. I don't have time to think.' It was better than just staying at home and probably drinking her mind numb.  
>'So you are here and working.. Getting it together. Believe me.. You need to start living again and this gave me an idea. You are going to have a date on Friday.'<br>'No Nigel,no.'  
>'Yes you are. What is holding you back? Is there someone else in your mind?'<br>Andy thought for a moment. Miranda didn't want her anymore,so why not.  
>'Okay. It's a date.'<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 6**

Miranda didn't want her near her. She barely talked to her. Like she said, it was over before it had even begun. Everything was about work. What had happened between them started to feel like a dream. Maybe it had been and she just had a fantasy about her boss.

One night Andy was exhausted when she arrived at Miranda's townhouse. She was glad when she didn't have to go with them to some stupid party. Emily had been impatient and excited all day long, talking about THE party and how much better she was than Andy because Miranda wanted her and not Andy. Stupid. Well, it was important to Emily to feel that way.

She had to walk home. Miranda had called Roy as he was driving them to the townhouse demanding that he come to take her home. Andy was just about to leave when she heard,

"Well well well, if it isn't Miranda's personal lapdog." Stephen came down from a second landing.

"Good evening, Mr Tomlison. How can I help you?" She hated the man, but for Miranda's sake she wanted to be polite.  
>"Tell me," Stephen Put his glass down, smelling of whiskey and cigars. "You organize her schedule. Why is it that you don't find any time for me in it?"<p>

"Miranda is a very busy woman. She makes her own schedule. I just do what she tells me to."

Stephen hit the table knocking over his glass. "You organize it! It is your fault as much as it is hers."

"I'm… I'm sorry… " she looked at her hands. "I have to go."  
>She began to panic.<br>"No you don't!" Stephen grabbed her by the elbow and pushed her against the wall. She could smell alcohol and cigar on his breath. She was scared to say anything; she felt tears forming in her eyes. "You are her assistant. That means you represent her. If she won't give me any time then I'll take it from you."

Tears rolled down her cheeks. "Please don't!" she whispered. She couldn't believe after where she had been in her life that this was happening in here in her own backyard.

Stephen licked her face. "You taste so good." When he started to grope her breasts she tried to get away. He was so strong and pulled her back. He hit her so hard that she cracked her lower lip. She could taste her own blood. She felt dizzy and disoriented. Stephen was pulling her by her hair; it hurt like hell. But soon she found herself in Miranda's study. Laying in the middle of the floor, Stephen was on her, grabbing and biting. She felt his hard dick on her leg. She tried hiting and scartching, kicking. The man had it and hit her once more knocking her unconscious for a second or two she didn't know. Even though she tried to fight back, she knew in her heart that she had lost this fight. Her body gave up slowly and unwillingly, but she couldn't fight this man. He was too strong to fight off.

Shock settled in and she just let it happen. She felt him enter her... it hurt like hell and she could feel every move he made. Hear every sound he made. She just lay there, feeling hopeless, in pain and still nothing.

Stephen passed out few minutes later next to her, mumbling something about how hot she was. Andy was scared to move but she had to. _Get out, get out, get out_, she was repeating to herself. She got up and looked at her clothes, they had looked good on her this morning now they were ripped and wrinkled. She didn't feel anything when she stepped out and started to walk to nearest subway stop. Cold wind blew but still nothing.

She knew that she needed to report this to the police, but she couldn't. She didn't want to hurt Miranda. Who would believe her anyway? He was a big shot and Miranda's husband. She was nothing.  
>She got home and undressed herself; she couldn't look at the mirror. She felt ugly and stupid... Andy turned the shower on and ran her fingers against her broken skin. Carpet buns stinging like hell, cuts, and bruises started to ache more. She fell down crying, finally letting it out. She had been so helpless.<p>

Miranda saw Andy just leaving her house. She didn't know why the girl had still been there. She got in and went to her study. She found Stephen on the floor, pants down to the middle his legs. 'Oh that's why Andrea was here.' She couldn't believe the girl had the nerve to do this to her. Fuck her husband! While she wasn't home. How long has this been going on? She wanted to shake the man awake and demand answers, but she was too angry. She took her laptop and left to for her bedroom locking her door. Luckily the twins were at their father's.  
>Miranda spent over two hours over the book and then she started to go over her email. Nothing what really mattered but she couldn't sleep. She wanted to know why.. Stephen tried to get inside but gave up soon. She heard him going to guestroom.<br>Sleep finally took her over when she was able to breath normally.

The water got cold making Andy to get out. She didn't know how she got to her bed but she did. She felt numb but finally warm in her bed. Staring at her digital clock on table. Minutes changed. Hours changed. She just kept staring that clock. Andrea didn't hear her phone when it rang or informed that she had a message. She was just laying down seeing nothing. She didn't hear knocking at the door or yelling behind it.

Monday morning came. She got up and had a shower. The first time in that weekend she looked at her phone. Nigel was questioning her why she had stood up on her date. She just didn't care to answer him. She was lucky that she had organized her closet and put her outfits togetter last week. She was dressing up but didn't notice that her shirt was inside out. She didn't care. She had a hard time covering her split lip but she managed. Her bruises on her face were easy to cover with makeup but her wrists were still blue and red. They didn't show that much and they were easy to explain.  
>When she was leaving her apartment she had a hard time opening the door. She knew she didn't have any other choice than to just leave. She took deep breath and opened the door. <em>I can do this.<em> She stepped out and locked her door.

It was the hardest walk of her life. Everybody looked like they knew what happened and it felt like they were disgusted about it. Like they blamed her for it. She blamed herself for it.  
>She got the coffee like always and went to the Elias-Clark building. Everything started to feel normal, but then came Miranda. Storm in her eyes. Hate in them evident.<br>That broke her. She ran to the restroom and started to vomit. There wasn't anything in her stomach so she just gagged saliva. She started to cry and couldn't hold it anymore... she was broken like that glass when it hits the floor. A million peaces of broken glass. It was like her soul. She heard someone calling her name but she didn't answer.  
>'Andy! please let me in!' It was Nigel.<br>His voice was like a beacon to her mind and she got up. Opening the door she fell inro Nigel's arms. Nigel saw her bruises and broken lip. He took her in his arms and carried her to Miranda's office where the only couch was.  
>'Get that girl out of this office! NOW."<br>'She's hurt Miranda. Badly hurt." He layed down Andrea who had passed out. "Call an ambulance."  
>Miranda saw her Andrea broken on her couch. She took in the woman's appearance and noticed all those bruises. Then it hit her what Stephen had done to her Andrea.<br>'Oh my God!' It was barely whisper.  
>She took the woman in her arms and pushed Nigel away. 'Go get some help."<br>Nigel was standing frozen for a second and then took off.. he had to think this over when he had some time. Now wasn't the time.  
>' wake up, darling.. wake up.."<p>

Andy felt warm hand on her face. She just couldn't see who it was.. then she realised she had to open her eyes. First she saw blue eyes like Amalia's.  
>'Amalia' she wishpered. 'Am I dead?'<br>'No darling you aren't. It's Miranda.' Miranda felt disappointed. Who was Amalia? Her new lover? Why would she think she is dead?  
>'Oh.. good..' Andrea laid her head on Miranda's shoulder and closed her eyes.. 'Please, don't leave me.'<br>'I wont darling..I wont.' Miranda felt relief in her heart when that beautiful young woman asked her not to leave. She couldn't do that. Not now.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 7**

Her Andrea was laying on a hospital bed wearing a white blue dotted gown, sleeping soundly. She wanted to know the younger woman's dreams when she was smiling. Maybe it was Amalia who she dreamed about. Who was that woman?  
>She had a terrible feeling that this was going to be hard. Miranda sat down on that plastic chair which she started to hate in about seven seconds.. her back was hurting but she didn't want to leave Andrea alone. She had promised the woman would not leave.<br>A nurse came to take Andrea's vitals and smiled at Miranda who just glared her. Andrea stirred and started to moan like she was in pain. Miranda took her hand an got up from her chair.  
>"Andrea.. Shh.. it's all right.. look at me."<br>The woman opened her eyes confused, but soon found Miranda's concerned face.  
>'Miranda...'<br>"Yes, I'm here like I promised." Somehow she felt relieved to see Andrea's big brown eyes.  
>"Could I have some water?" Her voice was hoarse.<br>Miranda pushed button to get a nurse who came in seconds to see what they needed.  
>"Could we get some water?"<br>"No, but I can get some ice chips for you."  
>"That'll do."<br>The nurse left and came back a few minutes later. Miranda hadn't moved away from Andrea but she started to feel uncomfortable. She needed answers. Andrea took the cup from the nurse and started to suck chip by chip. Miranda couldn't take it anymore. Those lips were teasing her. Asking to be kissed and she shook her head to get that image out of her mind. She stepped back and sat in the plastic chair.  
>'Andrea..'<br>'No.. I'm not ready to talk about this.'  
>'Then you listen to me.' Miranda huffed air. 'I have to know what happened to you.'<br>'I know.'

Andy felt quilty. She wasn't ready to tell her or even how. Andy looked up and saw the police behind the door. They stepped in.  
>'Miss Andrea Sacks. I'm detective Joan Rhodes and this is detective Thomas Sharp. We'd like to talk to you about what happened.'<br>Andy told them that she couldn't tell them anything because she didn't remember. Everything happened so fast when she was on her way home.. She saw Miranda's face and it told her that she didn't believe a word of what she said to the police. They asked about her clothes and she lied to them that she tossed them away..they were still at home in her laundry basket.  
>'I will pay for those clothes, Miranda. I'm sorry.'<br>'You should. That outfit looked flattering on you.' She felt a smile on her face and faint blush.  
>The police left her leaving her their card to call anytime if she remembered anything. Her doctor came in who looked over her vitals.<br>'I know this is hard but I think you should see our hospital's counselor.' The woman looked at Andy who tried hard not to fidget.  
>'What ever you want so I can get out of here.'<br>'Well you have to spend the night here. You have bad dehydration and we need to keep you on a drip for the night.' Andy groaned, but she did what they asked.  
>They sat in silence for a while. It wasn't weird, but it was getting to them. Miranda looked out the window. She just wanted to know, but knew she couldn't ask. Andrea wouldn't tell her even if she begged.<p>

Andy didn't understand why Miranda was so nice to the nurse or why was she still here.. well Ok. She promised to her, but what was this.. why would she stay after she woke up?  
>"Miranda, you don't have to stay here. I am alright now.'<br>'Andrea, you are not alright. You lied to the police and I want to know why.' Miranda faced the younger woman who couldn't look at her. 'And who is Amalia? Does she have something to do with this?'  
>That got Andy's attention. She looked like she was going to rip Miranda's head off.<br>'No. She doesn't. Don't talk about her like that! You don't know her!'  
>'Now we are getting somewhere. Then who is she?' Miranda was tense. Her hands gripping the innocent plastic chair. Her knuckles were white with anger.<br>Andy was angry. Miranda had no right to talk about Amalia like that.  
>'She was my life. She was my everything and I love her.'<br>'Well then, you don't need me. You can just call your Amalia.' Miranda took her coat and bag. She felt angry at herself. Andy could tell, but she didn't say a word when the older woman just left her room. Andy started to cry. She wished she could just call Amalia.. she wished it so much.

Miranda went back to Runway. She made everyone's life a living hell. Even Nigel felt like killing himself. He knew something had happened in that hospital, but he was happy hear from Emily that Six was Okay. Miranda was talking to him but he missed what she was saying.  
>'Miranda. Are you in love with our Six?'<br>The woman froze and faced her friend. 'What on earth are you talking about?'  
>'Miranda, I have known you for a long time and what I saw to day.. you love her.'<br>Miranda sat down and finally let her guard down.  
>'Yes.' She just said.<br>'Then why are you here and not there with Andrea?' He had seen that look once.  
>'She has someone else.'<br>'No she hasn't. She never came to see her date that I set up for her.' Nigel was puzzled.  
>'Well, she is seeing someone named Amalia who she loves.' She sighed.<br>'Oh my God.' Nigel got up. 'You need to get back to Andy.'  
>'No no.. I don't.'<br>'Don't you see? Amalia is dead and you need to hear that from Andy.'

Andy was curled up on her bed and was weeping quietly when Miranda got back to her room. She didn't move when she felt a warm hand on her shoulder.  
>'I'm sorry.' Miranda whispered.<br>'For what?' She was sobbing.  
>'About what I said earlier.'<br>'Nigel told you didn't he?' Miranda saw her Andrea's big brown eyes with reddish marks around them.  
>'He told me that Amalia is dead, but I should ask you what happened.' Miranda on the bed when Andy moved to give her some space.<br>'Okay. I'll tell you about Amalia...' 

One story later and Miranda was laying beside sobbing Andrea holding her in her arms.  
>'I am so sorry, darling.'<br>'I wanted to tell you earlier. At the dinner, but you didn't come. I was so ready to tell you, but after that I was just to scared to try again.'  
>'I am so sorry. I didn't want to push you away. I just thought you were being polite and didn't want to have relationship with me, other than work related.' She kissed the woman's forehead.<br>'Miranda, I want that.. I want everything with you.'  
>'I believe you now.'<br>Andy was looking Miranda's face. There were no walls. Only her Miranda.  
>'There is something else you need to know.'<br>'You can tell me everything.'  
>'I know, but I also know it is going to hurt you.'<br>'I have a feeling I know what you are about tell me, but I want you to tell me Andrea. Darling, I'm not going anywhere.' Miranda took the woman closer.  
>Andy was collecting her thoughts and taking deep breaths.<br>'It..it was Stephen..who.. who.. raped me.'  
>Miranda closed her eyes. Her anger flared but she kept listening.<br>'He was angry with you and blamed me for it. You didn't give him time so he took from me what he wanted form you. I..I'm sorry.'  
>'You have nothing to be sorry about, darling. But why didn't you tell the police?'<br>'Miranda, he is your husband and he isn't just some guy. He is rich and powerful and he could hurt you and your family. I'm just your second assistant. Who would have believed me?'  
>'I would have.' Miranda stated.<br>'Maybe, but I didn't want to hurt you and I thought you didn't like me.. I happen to like my job. I really didn't know what to think at the time. I am still a mess but I feel safe with you.' She nuzzled Miranda's neck.  
>'Well, good. Because I'm not letting you go.' She smiled at her.<br>They fell asleep soundly.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 8**

Miranda felt a warm body against hers and warm breath on her neck. She felt aroused when she felt warm lips accidently on her neck. Her blush was evident, but she didn't want to move. She wanted to stay like this forever.  
>'Good morning.' Her Andrea whispered.<br>'Yes..it is.' She tired to get up but Andrea hold her closer.  
>'What? No good morning kiss?'<br>'Are you sure you are ready?'  
>Before she got any kind of answer she felt Andrea's lips on her. Kissing her mind numb. Miranda couldn't hold her moan and then she felt Andrea's tongue in her mouth. She felt hot all over and she wanted to take the woman and make her her's, but she knew it was too early for the woman. She broke off the kiss. The brunette in her arms was blushing with want in her eyes.<br>'You are beautiful and I want you, but not like this. I want you to want this with your heart.'  
>'I know, thank you.' Andrea kissed her cheek which made Miranda get up from the hospital bed.<br>'If I don't get out of your bed, I won't leave at all.' Miranda looked at the beautiful woman on her bed. 'I have to say this,' Miranda took Andrea's hand and kissed it. 'Don't forget that I want you all to myself. And when you are ready, I'll show how much.' The woman disappeared into her private bathroom.

Andy was blushing and she was happy to hear those words from Miranda. Right now she felt ugly and dirty, but Miranda's words made her believe that the woman, fashion goddess really ment it, immadiately making her fell better about herself. 

The nurse came to her room and took her IV off so she could get something to eat and drink. Miranda came out and seeing Andy's happy face, 'Why are you so happy?'  
>'No IV means foooooooood.'<br>Miranda rolled her eyes. 'You just love to eat.'  
>'Yes I do. I just haven't had any appetite lately.' She got up from her bed and went to her private bathroom.<br>Miranda took the opportunity call Emily.  
>'I want fresh clothes for myself and Andrea. I want breakfast for two in half an hour. That's all!'<br>Arms came around her and she felt kiss on her neck. She lay back on Andrea's body.  
>'You are going to make things hard.'<br>'I hope I don't make it too hard.' Andrea's hands were wandering on her body. She almost felt those hands on her breasts.  
>'Please, you need to stop this.'<br>'I know. I just don't want to, but I don't think Emily would like to have a heart attack when she get's here.' Andrea went back to her bed.

Emily came in just in time with their food and clothes.  
>'I canceled your appointments for today and reorganized your schedule,' she told Miranda who took their food. Andy started to eat her's. Emily just stared at her in horror. You don't eat anything when Miranda was around.<br>'What?'  
>'No-nothing.' Emily fidgeted.<br>'Didn't I give you work enough? Or is there something else you need to tell me?'  
>'No no.. Miranda. I'll be on my way.'<br>*****

They were talking when some a man stepped in.  
>'Oh Andy, My sweet baby!' Andy's dad took her in his arms. 'I was so worried about you when they called to say you're in hospital.'<br>'Dad, I'm fine. I need to breath.' When he finally let go of her daughter he noticed Miranda.  
>'This is my boss, Miranda Priestly.'<br>'Oh..hello. Nice to meet you. I'm Richard, Andy's dad.'  
>'Nice to meet you too.' Miranda took offered hand. Andrea's father gave a kiss to her hand.<br>'Andrea, I didn't know you father is such a gentleman.' He just smiled.  
>'Where do you think my daughter got all of her charm?' Richard teased.<br>'DAD!' She slapped his hand. 

They talked a while, but Andy didn't feel like telling her dad what happened. Not just yet. The doctor came in and told her she was free to go home after she had talked to the shrink.  
>'Is there any place you can stay or could someone stay with you?'<br>'Yes. I have that covered.'  
>Her doctor left them alone.<br>'You can stay with me.' Miranda told her, but she saw the fear in the woman's eyes. 'Or not' Stephen still lived at her house but not for along if she had anything to do with it.  
>'Richard, I hope you will be staying with her?'<br>'Of course, I will.'  
>It was agreed then and they started to pack things and change clothes. Andy stepped into the bathroom and saw an almost naked Miranda. She felt her blush and her mouth was hanging open. 'Oh, my God.' She got closer. 'You are beautiful.' She heard her dad yelling something about getting out. She touched Miranda's chest. 'Your skin is so soft.' She kissed her chest.<br>'Andrea, please,' Miranda whispered. Her body was on fire and she wanted more but she couldn't. Andrea knew she wasn't ready for this so she left her alone and waited her turn to get dressed. When Miranda got out she had to kiss the woman who answered her heated kiss. When the kiss ended they both were out of breath.  
>'I would really like to continue this later on, but right now I want you to get better.' Miranda stroked her Andrea's beautiful face. <p>

The shrink came to see her and they talked while Miranda and her dad waited outside for her. The woman gave her list of numbers so she could get some help. She felt like smiling for the first time in a while. For the fist time in a long time.. she felt like everything would be alright. The srink told her to take it easy and if she had any problems, she would be here to help. She also gave her some sleeping pills, but Andrea didn't feel the need for them. Not now, when she had Miranda in her life, who wanted her, Andrea her second assistant in her life. She had hard time to believe what had happened to her and only thing what made sense to her was Miranda. The white haired Goddess was her light in her darkness and she would follow that light where ever it it took her. She'll be fine as long as Miranda wanted her there. Andy didn't want to think the other choice.. living with out Miranda would kill her. Right now, she just needed the woman to be hers and only hers when they were alone together. Not the Queen of Fashion, but the woman she loved. In time her wound in her soul would heal, leaving only the memory of her darkest moments of her life. They will always be there but she would learn to live with them. Like she has done so far... small steps towards their future was about to begin. That was the reason for her happy smile.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 9**

Miranda wanted her to continue as her employee till her year was up. She wanted that too and was happy to go back to work. Stephen was out of Miranda's life and the twins were happy. They didn't like him either. They decided that they would hold off on their relationship until Miranda's divorce was final. It was harder than they expected. Not looking and not touching was harder every time they saw each other. Sometimes Miranda just stopped speaking when she saw Andy leaning over putting some paper on her desk or on her own and just watched her endless legs and that perfect behind. Or those magnificent breasts that begged to be touched. Andy on the other hand couldn't get her eyes of her boss' ass that was taunting her day and night. Or those good looking legs that she wanted to wrap around her and make the woman yell her name. It really was HARD!

They were leaving for Paris fashion week when Andy noticed that her periods were late, but the doctor had told her it might happen after her rape. It was a big shock to her body and it might take some time to recover. In Paris she did her work like a normal person but she felt tired. She just wanted to sleep. Her aunt had diabetes, she thought when she noticed her need for using the toilet more often.. She drank more water too.. She just made a mental note to see her doc when she got back.  
>She was holding her stomach when Miranda came to her room. Andy felt like vomiting and it was only morning.<br>'Are you okay?' Miranda asked. She touched Andy's head to feel her temperature.  
>'No. I feel like crap. I think I have stomach flu so I think you should stay away for a while.'<br>'Don't be silly. I wont leave you that easily,' she hugged Andy, but Andy pushed her away and ran to her bathroom. She heard the girl vomit.  
>'Okay, you are going to stay in for today. Nigel can take care of your work.' She heard a mumbled thank you when she left the woman's room.<p>

In the afternoon she felt better and ate soup with her normal appetite. She decided to go out for a walk and saw a pharmacy near by. She was looking at something for stomach aches and vomiting when the pharmacist gave her pregnancy test.  
>'I..I'm not,' she tried to say.<br>'Well then, it wont hurt you to take the test. But I have seen that look on lot of women.. Just take it,' the woman said with beautiful accent.

Andy was scared to do the test, but she needed to know.  
>She was sitting in her bathroom and waiting for the results. Five minutes later she wanted to cry. The test showed two red stripes.. which meant she was pregnant. She felt the need to talk to Miranda but she was also scared. She didn't even know herself what she was going to do. She didn't want to kill the baby.. But she didn't know how she could look at the child knowing how it got it's life. What if she hated the child even it wasn't it's fault? She only knew she couldn't kill it.<br>*****

Miranda wanted her to attend to dinner since she was feeling better. Of course she went because she missed the white haired queen.  
>She felt tired when she was getting out of the party. She ran in to Christian who insisted he take her to dinner with him ans she only went because she owed him. Suddenly she was in his hotel room crying about the baby. He tried to comfort her and he did. She fell a sleep on his arms. When she woke up she was a mess and found out about their plan to ruin Miranda. She tried to warn Miranda but the woman was so angry with her when she didn't come back to the hotel that she wouldn't listen. Andy went to her own room feeling guilty when Nigel came to see her. She started to cry..<br>Nigel found the test and guessed what was wrong.  
>'You are pregnant with Stephen's child.' The woman just nodded and cried some more.<br>'Does Miranda know?' He already knew the answer but Andy confirmed his doubt.  
>He was angry really not knowing with whom. Stephen was.. He didn't know. But he was ready to protect the young woman. It didn't matter what. Andy was vomiting again but soon she gathered herself up and got ready for work. She needed to work so she didn't have to think. Miranda was cruel to her and Andy knew why. She would have been too if Miranda had done the same.. She hasn't done anything but Miranda wanted to believe she had slept with Christian. If she even wanted to do that she couldn't. They offered wine but Andy didn't take it. She saw Miranda looking at her but she didn't look back.<br>She felt ill and she could see Nigel concerned face when she felt the blood leaving her face. Nigel offered her water which she took. Eating was hard and she ran to ladies room to vomit as soon as it was possible.  
>'Still feeling ill, I see?' Miranda's voice was full with venom.<br>'Yes.. Miranda. We need to talk.'  
>'About what? That you had sex with Christian?'<br>'No. I didn't sleep with him. I was with him but there was no sex. I could't do that to you or to myself.' Andy got up and drank some water from her bottle.  
>She looked at herself from the mirror.<br>'Okay, we need to get going if we are going to get in time to the party.'

They sat in silence for a while. Miranda started to talk but Andy didn't hear her, she just blurted out her toughts.  
>'I'm pregnant.'<br>Miranda s eyes went wide. 'And yes. It is your husband's.' She glanced at Miranda who still just looked at her. 'I don't know what to do but I won't kill this child. I'll leave you to think what you want from us. I love you but I can't make you love this child. It is Stephen's. When your divorce is final.. If you want us.. Just came and get us.'  
>The car slowed down getting to it's full stop. Miranda put her glasses on and smiled her fake smile. Andy got up too but stayed behind. She saw her love walking away and she turned her back to her. She started to walk to the fountain. Her phone rang and she just watched it ringing. It was Miranda. <em>I'll see you when you see me.<em>


	11. Chapter 11

**Conclusion**

_Four months later_

Andy got a job at the Mirror. She really like her job, but she missed Miranda more than she could have ever imagined. She hadn't heard from her personally, but she saw the news and gossips on the papers. She wanted to be there for Miranda, but she couldn't. She had to wait for the woman to come to her.

Her stomach grew and she felt ugly again. No-one wanted fat, ugly, single mom.. she was afaid that Miranda didn't either. Nigel and Emily were there for her and so was Lily and Doug. She loved them, but still she cried the most of the nights and only because her darling little resident in her womb didn't want her to sleep. Kicking and hitting her and giving her restless legs. Andy didn't cry because she wasn't getting any sleep.. she cried because she wanted Miranda to be there with her. Holding her and calming her down with her stupid hormones! But no, she had to do it herself. It wasn't enough and the thought of a naked Miranda and her beutiful body made her want even more. This part of her preagnancy was the worst.. her hormones and naked Miranda was the last thing she should think but she couldn't help it. She really missed the icequeen.

Her dreams weren't filled with Amalia and her wicked ways.. They were filled with Miranda and her wicked lips and hands. So one day she desided to go see Amalia's grave. She really didn't expect to she Amanda, but she was there standing at her daughter's grave and weeping silently. Andy hesitated for a moment, but

She hadn't seen Amanda for so long. She was surprised to feel the woman's arms around her, but she hugged the woman. Amanda took a long look at her before she sayed anything.

'I am sorry.' Amanda's voice was raspy for all the crying.

Andrea felt her own eyes misting. 'I am too..' She offered her flowers to the woman. 'Could you please set these down?'

Amanda looked at Andy's stomach with a sweet smile. 'If you think you have a hard time now.. you really don't know what is to come.'

'Please, don't remind me.' She offered her own sweet smile.

Amanda was looking at the grave. 'Andy, could.. could we have a cup of coffee or something? I think we need to clear the air.'

Andy took the woman's hand. 'I would love to.'

Before Amalia's death they hadn't really known each ohter, but now they were chating like an old friends. Andy felt safe talking to Amanda, who felt the same. Amanda's huspand had died two years earlier and was now ready to admit that the man had been a monster. She asked Andy's forgiveness. 'Amanda, you don't need my forgiveness.. but I'll give it to you. Are you ready to forgive yourself?'

'Yes, but I would really like to have your help with it. It isn't easy to forgive someting like that.' Amanda hesitated for a moment. 'And I know this is a lot to ask for, but I would really like to be in this child's life.' Amanda looked at her stomach.

Andy smiled. 'I wouldn't have it any other way.'

She had Amanda in her life now, but she still missed Miranda. She saw a news about Stephen and his illegal actions, but it didn't say anything else.

Amanda really loved to help her with the decorations and she really liked Nigel even he was gay. That woman had come a long way to feel like this and it felt wonderful to have someone like her in Andy's life. She was grandmother even she wasn't biological one. Andy had told her how this child had it's life and Amanda had told her that she understood how she felt about it, but she also told her how Amalia got hers. Amanda's huspand had raped her after their argument and still she loved Amalia dearly. Andy had been in shock for a second, but she realized that no matter what.. this child was a part of her. No matter who the father was. Her uncertainty was gone and she was ready to give all of her love to the child.

She told Amanda about Miranda. First she thought the woman would leave, but she felt the woman's hand on hers and she finally could look at her.

'Darling, It is time for you to move on. If this Miranda is what you want and she comes to you. Go for it. Amalia would want that for you and your child. Heck! I want that for you!' She smiled at the younger woman who was about to cry. She hugged Andy and wished her luck from the bottom of her heart.

Miranda had hard time to sleep. She had those restless dreams about her Andrea. She wished that everything was alright with her and the child. Stephen's child. When Andrea had told about her preagnancy and it was that man's who she had once called her huspand. It was like her world had dipped upside down. Her Andrea told her she was leaving and if she wanted her and her child she would come and get them. The minute she had seen Andrea walking away, she had called her. But the woman didn't answer her. Maybe it had been a good thing, but she felt empty without her Andrea. She needed her and Miranda really didn't care who was the child's father as long she had her lover with her. It really wasn't the child's fault what had happened to her mother and she was ready to love him or her like her own.

Miranda was iching to see Andrea and she wanted to hold her. She couldn't. The press was every where and one false move on her part. It would make some lucky reporter's day too good to her liking, but she was still biting her staff's heads off and only one man was 'man' enough to front her. Nigel.

'You know, she is missing you.' Nigel said.

He had known for a while about them. So had Emily, but they were to scared to say anything till to day. Everyone in Miranda's office was ready to kill themself's than corss paths with Miranda. So it had been perfect time to say something to the dragon lady to ease her roar.

'What on earth are you talking about?' Miranda knew very well who he meant.

'You know who.'

Miranda sat behind her desk. Her icequeen mask felling off. 'How is she?'

'She's good. She met Amanda, Amalia's mother.' Nigel stood up and was about to leave. 'They are friends now.'

'Nigel, could you please give me update now and then?'

'Yes, I'll do that.' Nigel gave her comforting smile.

Even Nigel giving her updates of her Andrea. She still felt restless. One night she was at her study looking at the picture of her Andrea. She was distrubed by her dauhgter's. 'Mom?' Cassidy said.

'Yes my darlings?'

Cassidy glanced her sister, who was fidgeting next to her. 'Are you ok?'

'Yes, I am ok. Shouldn't you be in bed?' Miranda stood up.

'Mom, you're not ok. You haven't been since the Paris fashion week.' Caroline was worried. 'You can tell us.'

Miranda took her time to consider should she tell her dauhgter's the truth.

'Come here,' She took the girls to her couch. The twins hugged their mom and listened. 'I'm in love.'

'Oh no! Mom, Stephen..' Miranda cut Cassidy off. 'No, not with him.' The twins looked at her puzzled.

'I'm in love with Andrea.' She waited the bomb to coming off, but it never did. She carefully looked at her daughter's seeing nothing than compassion.

'Mom, Why isn't she here then? Doesn't she want to be with us?' Cassidy asked.

'Honestly, I don't know. But if she would like to be with us.. is it alright with you two?'

'Yes, mom. We like Andy. You should marry her.' Caroline hugged her mother harder.

'Oh, darlings. I might just do that.'

'It settled then. We help you.' The girls rushed out her study leaving her baffeld.

Next day courier delivered to her house a baggage witch contained magazine's of weddings. The twins told her not to worry that they will take care of everything. Before they got to their room, their mother sotpped them. 'Darlings, there is something else to consider too,' The girs were waiting her to tell them. 'Andrea is pregnant.'

'Oh, we know. Nigel told us this morning.'

Her little darlings had a amazed her again. She really hoped that Andrea would say yes. She didn't want to tell the girls the bad news.

_Six Months later._  
>Miranda looked at the paper in her hand. It was finally over and she could get her Andrea back . She hadn't seen her or even talked to her. It was killing her slowly, but now.. she wanted to get the woman back to her. Nigel had told her how huge Andrea was and how well they had done the nursery. Finally she could see for herself when she got up and went to get the present from Emily who got it for her Andrea. She also had little box in her purse that contained two rings. Engagement rings for her lovely Andrea and to her. They were matching pieces.<p>

She was nervous when she knocked on Andrea's door.  
>'Just a minute! Or an hour if I can get up!' The woman yelled from behind the door.<p>

Miranda felt like smiling. She was scared that too much time had passed to have her Andrea back, but she had to have those divorce papers before she could even think about having a realtionship with Andrea. She hoped in her heart that the woman would understand and forgive her delayed come back. Stephen had made the divorce hell for her, but after she mentioned Andrea to him and her unexpected huge stomach. He started to back away. But still there was so much of paperwork and settelments to get over with before she was free to be with her Andrea.  
>When the door opened. she couldn't believe how beautiful Andrea was as a mother.<br>'Mi-Miranda..'  
>Miranda didn't ask or say anything. She just walked in and kissed Andrea hard. When their kiss broke she wishpered: 'I missed you.'<p>

Andy felt her tears misting her eyes. She couldn't believe that the white haired goddess was in her arms again. She had almost lost all of her hope that she wouldn't came. Then Emily had said something about getting present to her child for Miranda. She had felt better, but she didn't dared to hope to much. She loved the woman, but what if it was just a friendly gesture. She was happy to find out it was more than that.

'Oh, God! I was getting worried that you wouldn't want us.'  
>'Andrea, darling. I have wanted you for so long. This child will only be ours. If you have me as your lover and partner.' She forgot her present when she got to her knees. She took the box out of her purse. 'Will you marry me? Be my only one for rest of your life?'<br>Andy's tears were falling. 'Yes, my love. I'll marry you.'  
>'Good, because I don't know how to break my twins' hearts after they have been through million catalogues looking at wedding dresses for you and me.'<br>'Oh my.. just get up and kiss me already!'  
>Their kiss was perfect.<p>

_Few weeks later_

Andy was writting furiously, when her phone started to ring. Without looking she answered it.

'Sacks.'

'Hello Darling.' It made Andy smile.

'Hi my love, What's up?' She saved her work.

'Have you heard the news?'

'What news?' Andy was puzzled.

Miranda would never say she had something to do with this. She might have told accidently to her bookkeeper about Stephen's illegal moneytransfers.

'My dear ex-huspand is going to jail for a tax froud and I made a one little phonecall to the prison. The head chief is an old friend of mine and he owns me a favour.' She could hear Miranda's smile.

'Ok. What did you tell him to do?'

'Let's just say, that Stephen is going to have wonderful time with his new sellmate who happen to be serial rapest... of men.'

'Oh. My. God. You didn't!' It was horrid thing to do, but Stephen earned it.

'Yes, I did. No-one hurts the people who I love.'

Andy took a moment to think. 'Thank you, my love.'

When the phonecall ended, she was happy. That man got what he asked for.

_Eight months later_

_The sun was shining when she slowly woke up feeling like someone was waching her. _

_'Good morning, darling.' _

_'Miranda?'_

_'No darling.. It's Amalia.'_

_She tried to get away from the woman. 'Are you going to slap me again?'_

_'No.. I'm here to just talk to you.' Amalia sat next to her and put her hand on Andy's. 'It's time for you to move on.. you have cried to much after me already.' Amalia looked at Miranda who was sleeping next to her. 'You love her, don't you?' Andy looked at her lover. _

_'Yes, Amalia. I do.'_

_'Then you have to let me go.' _

_'No! I.. it's wrong.' She was afraid._

_'Darling, I will always be a part of you, but you have Miranda now to love. She needs you as much as you need her. She might not say that outloud, but you know as well as I do. She needs you..' Andrea looked at her lover who snuggled closer to her. She had to smile. The woman was so beautiful and she was lucky to have this woman in her life. 'You are right...' At that moment she felt pain. _

_'It's time for you to have your baby...'_

Andy had barely time to get out of their bed when her water broke. Miranda woke baffled.

'Wha..what is it, darling?'

'My water just borke.'

'Okay, calm down. I'll get the girls and you go downstairs to wait for us.' Miranda got up taking her phone to dial Roy. When Andrea was still standing and smiling like a fool. 'Darling?'

'This is it..' She smoothed her stomach.

Miranda took the woman in her arms. 'Yes, darling. This is it.' She kissed her Andrea.

'I love you.'

'I love you too.' She thouched Andrea's stomach. 'Now.. can we leave? I really don't want to have this baby at our home.' She was nervous even she had been in this situation once before and she was the one who gave birth. Still.. this was her Andrea who was having their baby.

'Yes, my love. We can go.'

_Ten hours later_

Andy held her daughter in her arms and she couldn't stop smiling. Their angel was perfect. Her eyes were still black but she had a feeling those eyes would be like Amalia's. The baby's hair was white like a fine snow.. her nose reminded her of Miranda's. Lips were like hers..full and rose pink. _Your name will be Anya._

After everything that had happened to her she finally felt calm and at ease. She was finally home.. The twins were taking pictures when Miranda leaned over and gave her a kiss. Now it was forever in their memories.

The End.


End file.
